He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize