i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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