***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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