my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
