I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize