dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
