Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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