So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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