I want to have your abortion
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
