You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
