Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
