Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Screwed.edu
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
