Got a toothbrush?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this boner is exhausting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
