I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
