I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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