I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
