Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
