Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

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(636): View more from Missouri

just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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(541): View more from Oregon

No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

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(949): View more from California

Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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(678): View more from Georgia

My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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(406): View more from Montana

I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.

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(224): View more from Illinois

We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.

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(334): View more from Alabama

You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale

(864): View more from South Carolina

at least it's not cocaine like last time

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