Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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