2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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