Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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