She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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