Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
