A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
