Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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