is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
