It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize