Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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