do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
