Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
