that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
