so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
