I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
COCAINE IS GR8
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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