Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
