So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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