yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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