dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
