honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize