Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So gin and wine won't be happening again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
