Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
