She is in my trunk
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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