So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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