He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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