Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize