I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize