It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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