I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
