I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
