it's too hot outside to masturbate.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
