On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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