my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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