I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
