I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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