what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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