Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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