How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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