I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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