I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
