If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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