I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
