It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize